" He was like a goddamn zombie," Sam said. "And you know that place theywent to is responsible for this. If I didn't want Mattie near thesepeople before, you can double that feeling now. Those fuckers wouldn'thesitate to use this on him. We can't let that happen Danny," Sheinsisted."We're not going to," he said. "Call Amelia, I don't care what she isdoing we need her to look at this shit right now. Maybe it's somethingshe will recognize."------------------------------------------------------------------------Year 1 A.S. Day 191Amelia told them to bring the sample they had take to her at the V.A.There was no way that she could get off of her shift right now. She hadalready been working doubles because of the staffing problem. It hadgotten a little easier, but it was still not any way close to normal.She joked about it sometimes. She said that whoever had chosen to switchher must have known that she would need the extra energy from being thisyoung would give her.She took them aside into. I knew what I wanted; I just did not know how to tell her. I read,secretly, all the magazines the pre teen girls read and had cut outpictures of some of the nicest dresses. Just that week I had cut out apicture of this simply beautiful pink dress that I think I would havekilled to just try on, much less wear.I thought about what my mother asked me for about a week. I steeledmyself, I asked her to sit with me at the kitchen table and told her allabout my feelings, of wanting to wear dresses and pretend to be a girl;I was ready to be at least slapped around or even ridiculed. I couldtake the ridicule, after all the years of it, it wouldn't have botheredme. I just didn't want my mom to be mad at me.She just looked at me as I explained that I wanted to spend a day as agirl, that would be the best birthday present I would ever want.She got up from her chair, walked around to where I was sitting and tookme in her loving arms and hugged me. I could see tears in her eyes asshe hugged me."You.
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